Unreasonable hospitality is about being a little irrational in the pursuit of making people feel cared for.
– Will Guidara
Often, when we think of hospitality, we think of the dinner table. And if you’re from the South like me, you might think of matching floral cloth napkins, fresh flowers from Harris Teeter, and the best Williams Sonoma dinnerware.
Don’t get me wrong, a perfectly styled Southern dinner party can be something to remember! But like we discussed at this year’s summer conference, I challenge us to rethink what’s at the heart of hospitality, because if anyone should own this idea, it should be God’s people working to serve others well.
My first inkling of a different idea of hospitality was my friend Hilary. In true classical fashion, we first met over a discussion of Latin, and she quickly invited me to lunch. And then to dinner. We have enjoyed many dinners together through the years. What struck me first about Hilary’s gatherings were how they focused authentically on people. She thought carefully about who she invited, imagining the conversations that would ensue. Second, they weren’t overly perfect. She always put the people and actually having people over, ahead of a spotless house or well-orchestrated plan. Meaning, if the opportunity presented itself, she just invited people over. Third, I always felt a sense of belonging at Hilary’s gatherings. Her invitations weren’t about status. No doubt, Hilary was able to pull off these gatherings because she had thought intentionally about the notion of hospitality in advance.
Since my days in Savannah, GA I have also experienced giant-sized Texas hospitality. These gatherings are quite different from a Hilary dinner party. Last-minute get-togethers built on a run-in conversation in a grocery store on a Friday, often end with dozens upon dozens of people, full concerts, and enough food to feed an army later that very same day. It’s an astounding thing to witness come together. Texans are serious about these events that appear out of thin air. The size of the state is matched by the generosity of spirit here, at least on Marlandwood Rd it is.
My point – Savannah gatherings and Texas gatherings look very different, but at the heart of both were time and people. So how do we do the same as leaders?
Building Trust Through Time
“Remember teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.” – Patrick Lencioni
In the fast-paced environment of modern work, it’s easy to view time spent together as just another item on a to-do list. However, the true value of these moments lies not just in the time itself but in the intentionality behind it. Carving out this time in the scope of the year is critical.
At SCL, a remote team from all over the country, we must work even more intentionally to build time together. We recently enjoyed a week in the mountains, precious time we had never had together in this form, and time together that’s even more important as our team grows. We worked on our annual goals and objectives, problem-solved key issues, and more, but we also hiked together, explored lakes together, prayed together, and laughed ridiculously together. We also played two solid nights of the team game I refer to as The Noun Game, whereby we importantly discovered a key vulnerability in our fearless leader – charades! Just ask Eric to act out a word. Priceless. In the process, we grew as a team and developed inside jokes to last a lifetime. Togetherness is vital to building trust and vulnerability.
Making Togetherness Happen
Intentionality means making time a priority. It means being ready whenever an opportunity presents itself. It means approaching interactions with purpose and a clear focus on building deeper relationships, enhancing communication, and fostering a sense of unity within the team. When we are intentional about how we spend time together, we move beyond superficial interactions and cultivate meaningful connections that strengthen trust and collaboration. Spending time together is crucial in any relationship, especially within a team, because it fosters deeper connections, understanding, and trust. Here are five key reasons why this is important:
- Building Relationships: Time spent together allows team members to get to know each other beyond their roles and responsibilities. Shared experiences, whether in meetings, collaborative projects, or casual social gatherings, create bonds that make the team stronger. These relationships are the foundation of trust, as people are more likely to trust those they know well.
- Enhancing Communication: Regular interaction helps improve communication within the team. When people spend time together, they learn each other’s communication styles, preferences, and personalities. This familiarity reduces misunderstandings, facilitates clearer conversations, and enables more effective collaboration.
- Creating a Sense of Belonging: When a team spends time together, it fosters a sense of belonging and inclusion. Everyone feels like they are part of something larger than themselves. This sense of belonging is vital for team morale and cohesion, making each member feel valued and motivated to contribute to the collective success.
- Shared Vision and Goals: Spending time together allows the team to align on shared goals and a common vision. When team members regularly interact and discuss their objectives, they develop a unified understanding of what they are working towards. This shared vision strengthens commitment and trust, as everyone feels invested in the same outcomes.
- Building Resilience: Teams that spend time together are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks. Through regular interaction, members build trust in each other’s abilities and support systems. When difficulties arise, they can rely on their strong relationships to navigate obstacles collectively, making the team more resilient.
As we kick off the new school year, creating a mindset of togetherness is vital to building strong teams. How will you invest in your team and build some irrationality into your togetherness this year?
Society for Classical Learning
At Society for Classical Learning, we understand that building strong, connected teams is the foundation for impactful education. Just as intentional hospitality fosters trust and true fellowship, our community of classical educators pursues unity through shared experiences and collaboration. If you’re passionate about enhancing team dynamics and fostering a culture of meaningful connection, consider becoming a member of Society for Classical Learning. Join us today to be part of a growing network dedicated to excellence in classical education.
